When things don’t work out as you hoped: Managing fear of failure. Part 1.

 

 

Sometimes, despite our continued efforts, we do not achieve the results we want. We may see this as failure.

 “One of the greatest problems people have with failure is that they are too quick to judge isolated situations in their lives and label them as failures. Instead, they need to keep the bigger picture in mind.”
(J.C.Maxwell)

Mistakes happen, and any one of us can make them. When we make mistakes, or when things go wrong we can feel disappointed, frustrated, upset, or experience a mix of emotions. At first it may be difficult to look beyond the mistake so we tend to focus on what went wrong and overlook the wider context. Having a wider perspective on the situation can allow us to find alternative ways of solving the problem, so that we can eventually achieve our goals.
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When things don’t work out how you hoped: Managing fear of failure. Part 2.

In part 1 we looked at making mistakes and the meaning of failure. In this section we will focus on what you can do to manage situations where things don’t work out how you hoped.

Focus on the possibility of change, to get unstuck and make progress. When you doubt your abilities focus on the belief that you can manage the situation. It is OK not to be perfect.”       (Mlodinov, 2018)

How to manage fear of failure and find ways to get on with tasks?

Review and manage expectations of Perfectionism:

Perfectionism triggers further tension as it creates unrealistic expectations, which if not achieved exactly can cause significant distress. The associated negative thinking that comes with unrealistic expectations undermines our hope, and changes our behaviour – we are less likely to make efforts to persevere with our tasks (Ben-Sahar, 2009).
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Mind-Body Connection: The benefits of exercise

 

Exercise for body and mind:

       “ If there were a drug that could do for human health everything that exercise can,  it would likely be the most valuable pharmaceutical ever developed.” (Tarnopolsky, 2016, cited in Oaklander, 2016)

Health professionals are increasingly recommending, based on scientific research, that we should all exercise because it is good to restore and maintain our health. Regular exercise has significant benefits for our body and mind: it lowers the risk of developing diseases such as heart problems, diabetes and high blood pressure.

It also helps to build and strengthen bones and muscles, as well as strengthens our immune system. Physical activity increases our aerobic capacity strengthening our lungs and helping to keep our bodies well oxygenated. In addition, it helps to boost our metabolism and maintain a stable weight (Ratey &Hagerman, 2010).
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Prevent procrastination: how to get things done. The Psychology of Action (Part 1)

Why do we do the opposite of what we want to do?
We tend to behave against our intended plans such as working on assignments because we may have worry thoughts anticipating the result will not be as good as we want it to be, or perhaps because we think what we are doing is wrong. Sometimes we think there is only one right way to do it, or believe that we shouldn’t make mistakes.

When thinking like this we can feel discouraged and then we are likely to stop working on the task because we don’t feel confident we can do it well. It could also be due to having a feeling of aversion because we think it is too hard so we delay getting on with our work.

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Prevent procrastination: How to get things done. The Psychology of Action (Part 2)

What is willpower and how can we develop it?
Willpower is having a sense of personal agency. It refers to our ability to delay gratification and focus on the task because we want to achieve a long-term goal. However, if we are tired it will be difficult to maintain our efforts. Also, it may be more difficult to focus on the task when there are a number of immediate distractions. To make progress we need to maintain our energy level and manage or remove the distractions (Baumeister, 2011).

We can create a mental representation of the goal we want to achieve (think about each step leading to your goal) and create our own self-instructions (Mischel, 1996). For example describing the process – a series of steps to get the task done – so that we know in detail what we need to do from step to step.
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How to manage worry thoughts (Part 1)

What are Worry Thoughts?

We all have worry thoughts from time to time, and these tend to interrupt our thinking without us wanting them to. Every day worry is part of life, and it does not interfere with our activities. It is the type of thinking that helps us to focus our attention on those things that we need to get done in the day, or that we want to keep in mind to remember them.

Sometimes they are thoughts about things that we anticipate in the future, and it could be that they are a way of reminding us that we need to do something. Usually we can write these thoughts down as a to-do-list. This will give the brain the message that it does not need to remember these thoughts repeatedly as we have made a note to remember them. Then the thoughts can dissipate gradually.
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How to manage worry thoughts (Part 2)

How to deal with worry thoughts

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” ( Marie Curie)

“Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.” ( Norman Vincent Peale)

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Would you like to participate in a research about sleep?

By Dr Claire Gregor
Do you find yourself lying awake for hours on end trying to fall asleep whilst desperately trying to clear your mind of work or worries?  Are you constantly yawning and giving in to daytime naps at the expense of restorative night-time sleep?  If so, it may be that you need a bit of help in recalibrating your sleep routines!

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What can you do to increase concentration?

It is the time of year when you are likely to have a number of assignments to work on and deadlines are approaching. So you decide to start with an assignment, but it is difficult to choose which question to answer. Finally, you decide on a question and get ready to start. After a short while you notice that your attention goes to your phone or tablet.

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