Everyone else seems happy!

“Everyone else seems to be having fun, but I’m finding uni stressful. Am I doing something wrong?”  Is this something you find yourself thinking?

Here’s something to consider: ‘Facebook. How much do you believe of what people post on it?’  Are most people you know, likely to post about the downside of life? Or post pictures of themselves looking less than perfect, or having a difficult time?   Some people work hard to keep up that positive image on-line, and even harder to maintain the façade in real life.  When we’re face-to-face with a relative stranger, we all tend to want to come across as confident and fun to know. But underneath that confident exterior, most people have doubts about themselves, things they wouldn’t want others to see. You’re not the only one.

You can ask yourself “How can I manage stress better to feel stronger?” 

Firstly, it might help if you acknowledge to yourself that actually, academic work at uni is meant to be quite demanding.  Think back and remember how much effort you made, just to get here.   Revising for your A levels, writing a personal statement…..and now you’re here, that effort and work goes on. At the end when you graduate, that’ll be validation of all that you’ve done here.

group of students study group

Think about getting together a group of ‘study buddies’

So, If you’re having a hard time academically, what about forming a small group of study-buddies?  See if anyone wants to talk about the meaning of the latest assignment for half an hour or so. It’s so much better when you have others’ perspectives too. Another source of help is Study Advice, for any kind of academic question:  www.reading.ac.uk/studyadvice

Make sure you’re also taking care of yourself physically, to give yourself the best chance to cope with the change from home life to uni life first. Think about what you are eating as this can have a huge impact on how you’re feeling about everything!    Make sure to drink plenty of water as well as whatever else you’re drinking.

Then start thinking about cultivating a good relationship with yourself.  No-one needs to be perfect. When things go wrong, stop and think: would I forgive someone else for doing that? If you accept others as ‘good enough’, what about easing up on yourself?

Socialising can be fun, or can be a stress-point. At home you probably had old friends you’d known for years.   Making new ones is going to take a while. Just because you didn’t get asked along when your flatmates went out isn’t a reflection on you. Another time, instead of waiting to be invited, decide what you’d like to do, think about who else might enjoy that, and suggest it to them. Be prepared to maybe hear that they’re busy – if so, suggest it to someone else. People who have a good time don’t give up on their plans when others say no, they just find someone who’ll say yes.

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