(Please note: this blog contains real stories and experiences. We understand they may be upsetting for some readers, so we wanted to let you know before you go on. If you are affected by any of these or need any support, you can find it via the links at the end of this blog).
Mental Health is an important topic and relevant to all of us – we all have mental health, just like psychical health. When our mental health is good we may not think about it much; however, it is in times when our mental health is poor that we may need to reach out and get help, talk to someone.
We are all different, and it isn’t always easy to notice that your mental health isn’t as good as it was, or that you are not coping as well as you were. It can be confusing, you may not know why. Mental Health problems affect 1 in 4 people, so you are not alone, it isn’t a weakness to feel like you may need help.
“It wasn’t until someone pointed it out to me that I realised maybe I should speak to someone about my Mental Health. I had ups and downs, but I didn’t realise it was to do with my mental health. It was a massive and scary step to speak to someone, I felt my problems weren’t as big as other peoples.
I cried in the doctors, I was confused and felt ashamed. I was put onto pills which confused me even more. It was only years later after listening to stories that I wasn’t the only one, it wasn’t something to be ashamed of and getting help, talking was the best thing I did.”
“Good mental health means being generally able to think, feel and react in the ways that you need and want to live your life. But if you go through a period of poor mental health you might find the ways you’re frequently thinking, feeling or reacting become difficult, or even impossible, to cope with. This can feel just as bad as a physical illness, or even worse. – Mind
Today is Time to Talk 2021 – a campaign to change the way people think and act about mental health problems.
“A small conversation about mental health has the power to make a big difference.
We know that the more conversations we have, the more myths we can bust and barriers we can break down, helping to end the isolation, shame and worthlessness that too many of us with mental health problems are made to feel.
Time to Talk Day is the day that we get the nation talking about mental health. This year’s event might look a little different, but at times like this open conversations about mental health are more important than ever.
We need your help to start the conversation this Time to Talk Day – together we can end mental health stigma.
This year’s focus is on the power of small, because however you have a conversation about mental health – whether it’s a quick text to a friend, a virtual coffee morning, or a call to a friend – it has the power to make a big difference.
We know talking about mental health is not always easy. But starting a conversation doesn’t have to be awkward, and being there for someone can make a huge difference.” – Time to Change
Tips for talking about mental health
There is no right way to talk about mental health, but these tips will guide you to make sure you’re approaching it in a helpful way.
1. Ask questions and listen
Asking questions can give the person space to express how they’re feeling and what they’re going through, and it will help you to understand their experience better. Try to ask questions that are open and not leading or judgemental – such as “how does that affect you” or “what does it feel like?”
2. Think about the time & place
Sometimes it’s easier to talk side by side rather than face to face. So, if you do talk in person, you might want to chat while you are doing something else. You could start a conversation when you’re walking, cooking or stuck in traffic. However, don’t let the search for the perfect place put you off!
3. Don’t try & fix it
It can be hard to see someone you care about having a difficult time but try to resist the urge to offer quick fixes to what they’re going through. Learning to manage or recover from a mental health problem can be a long journey, and they’ve likely already considered lots of different tools and strategies. Just talking can be really powerful, so unless they’ve asked for advice directly, it might be best just to listen.
4. Treat them the same
When someone has a mental health problem, they’re still the same person as they were before. And that means when a friend or loved one opens up about mental health, they don’t want to be treated any differently. If you want to support them, keep it simple. Do the things you’d normally do.
5. Be patient
No matter how hard you try, some people might not be ready to talk about what they’re going through. That’s ok – the fact that you’ve tried to talk to them about it may make it easier for them to open up another time.
And there are lots of things you can do to support them even if you’re not talking:
- Doing things together
- Sending a text to let them know you’re thinking of them
- Offering to help with day-to-day tasks.
Time to Talk – Mental Health experience and tips (UoR student)
I have not been diagnosed with any mental health problem, but like everyone, I have periods of times where I don’t feel right or feel low for no particular reason. This isn’t because I’m sad or tired but because I’m just going through a low point. For me, this usually comes about in the winter, probably due to the weather being cold and not getting enough sun and exercise. I tend to start feeling less motivated and enjoy things less than I used to.
I have looked for solutions on how to kickstart myself and reduce these feelings. One tip I found was to ensure that you take the time to go outside each day, go for a walk and ensure that you are getting all of the vitamins that you need. Part of the reason for feeling low in winter could be due to this lack of movement and vitamins that are harder to maintain in this season.
Another tip would be being kinder to yourself, allowing yourself to relax and ensuring that you follow a good routine. This routine is to make sure that you get enough sleep and have certain tasks to break up the day and feel productive. Lying in bed for hours without a clear goal for the day can make the feelings worse, which I have experienced.
Also, during the current lockdowns, I have had feelings of anxiety and feeling isolated, much like others across the world. I went from normal university life to being dragged into this weird Covid world. The lockdowns and measures seemed strange initially, but I was optimistic, plus the weather was good. Now, coming up to a year of lockdowns due to Covid, I’ve started to feel the strain of not seeing people and having a lack of motivation to do work. One tip that has helped me reduce those feelings has been to only do things that I am comfortable with. For example, when I felt very anxious about the future and felt lonely, I would connect with someone I haven’t spoken to in a while. This could be a quick message or a video call, any contact with people you care about will probably make you feel better. It’s up to you if you want to discuss your worries with your friend, that depends on you, some people talk to friends to try and forget about the current situation and relax.
Loneliness is a big issue at the moment, I have experienced how difficult it is not to meet people, so message your friends as they might be feeling the same.
Finally, anything you do to help your mental health is amazing and a step forward to make you feel more comfortable in yourself. It’s a difficult time for most so you aren’t alone and there are different services you can use such as UoR support, talking therapies and helplines.
Time to Talk Day 2021 | Young Champions – tips for talking mental health
Ever wanted to check-in or support a friend with a mental health problem, but worried about how to go about it? Join two of our Young Champions who will be discussing how small things that anyone can do, can make a big difference. This event is perfect for young people and schools.