Starting a conversation about mental health can feel daunting, especially in a high-pressure environment like university. As a final-year law student from Hong Kong, studying in the UK has been a rewarding yet challenging experience. For my peers and me, this final year counts for two-thirds of our degree classification, unlike second year, which counts for one-third. The pressure to perform can feel overwhelming, and for international students like me, far from home, that sense of pressure can intensify. In times like these, supporting one another becomes essential, and sometimes that support starts with a simple conversation.
Whether you’ve noticed a friend acting differently or just want to check in on someone, here are some practical ways to start a conversation about mental health:
1. Recognise the Signs
It can be tough to know when to reach out, but there are signs to look for. Has a friend been more withdrawn, showing signs of stress or losing interest in things they once enjoyed? These shifts might signal that they could use a supportive chat. Find a quiet moment in a comfortable setting, where it’s just the two of you, and try opening up the conversation gently.
2. Start with Open-Ended Questions
It’s easy to feel unsure of what to say, but open-ended questions can be a great way to invite someone to share without making them feel pressured. You might say something like, “How have you been feeling about everything lately?” or “Is there anything on your mind?” These questions create a safe space and show that you’re open to whatever they’d like to share.
3. Be Patient and Listen Fully
Once you start the conversation, remember to be patient and let your friend take their time. Listening without judgment can be powerful; often, people just need to feel heard. Resist the urge to jump in with solutions, as it can sometimes feel overwhelming. Instead, show that you’re there to listen and offer support however they might need.
4. Share a Bit of Your Own Experience
If it feels appropriate, sharing a personal experience can help your friend feel less alone. I’ve often felt the pressure of grades and distance from family myself, and when I opened up to a friend about it, it actually helped us both feel supported. Whether it’s exam stress or adjusting to life in a new country, showing that you’ve been there too can make a big difference.
5. Encourage Professional Support
While friends can be a great support system, sometimes professional help is what’s truly needed. Gently suggest university counselling or peer support groups if your friend seems open to it. There are mental health resources available on campus and online, and seeking professional help is often the most constructive way to work through complex feelings.
6. Take Care of Yourself, Too
Supporting someone through a mental health conversation can be emotional, so don’t forget to take care of your own mental health as well. Check in with yourself, and set healthy boundaries to ensure you’re in a good space to continue offering support.
Starting a conversation about mental health doesn’t have to be intimidating. Small actions like listening and being present can have a big impact. At the end of the day, these conversations aren’t about having the “right” words but about showing up and caring. For international students, this journey can feel isolating at times, and being able to connect with someone, even over a shared coffee or a quiet walk, can be a reminder that we’re not alone.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or need someone to talk to, check out the mental health resources available through the University of Reading. Student Minds UK and Mind Charity are also great resources for guidance. Don’t hesitate to reach out—both for yourself and for others. Starting the conversation may be one of the most powerful things you do, for yourself or for a friend.